More on Sandwiches and a Near-Pregnancy Experience
So, I finally found a Tulsa sandwich place that had been staring me in the face all along. Bill and Ruth's. They have a mind-boggling assortment of sandwiches, including a three-cheese and avocado one which was all it took to get my stamp of approval. In addition to all the sandwiches, they also have hummus and pita for 99 cents, tabouli, and baklava. Thank goodness, because I was in dire straits (an odd expression, isn't it? How could a strait be dire? And what do straits have to do with anything, really, except as small passageways, which I suppose have some bearing on this story...).
However, Bill and Ruth's is still far enough away from campus that I can't always make it there for lunch. Take this week, for example, when I had CLEP exams scheduled every day over my lunch hour. I was trapped, with Subway as the only lunch place in sight. Well, not quite the only lunch place. There was the vending machine, too. So, for lunch all week, I had a diet mtn. dew, a bag of gardettos, and a package of those little coconut donettes. Vile. I hadn't quite realized how vile, though, until I had my near-pregnancy experience.
Basically, all week I had been experiencing bloating, water retention, incessant urges to pee, and that really annoying tickling sensation in your bladder that you get sometimes and just won't go away. It was really the tickling that got to me. I was getting desperate and considering my medical options, when someone suggested that I think back on any recent dietary changes. I concluded that perhaps the mtn. dew was the culprit, since I almost never drink soda and really am not used to regular caffeine intake.
I didn't realize the full import of my situation, however, until after I went to the bathroom yesterday afternoon and returned, as they say, some 5 pounds lighter. I mean, this was massive. And it occured to me that this was the first time in several days, and that the tickling sensation had mostly vanished. A couple more trips later that day, and I was cured, by God.
I had been pregnant with poop.
However, Bill and Ruth's is still far enough away from campus that I can't always make it there for lunch. Take this week, for example, when I had CLEP exams scheduled every day over my lunch hour. I was trapped, with Subway as the only lunch place in sight. Well, not quite the only lunch place. There was the vending machine, too. So, for lunch all week, I had a diet mtn. dew, a bag of gardettos, and a package of those little coconut donettes. Vile. I hadn't quite realized how vile, though, until I had my near-pregnancy experience.
Basically, all week I had been experiencing bloating, water retention, incessant urges to pee, and that really annoying tickling sensation in your bladder that you get sometimes and just won't go away. It was really the tickling that got to me. I was getting desperate and considering my medical options, when someone suggested that I think back on any recent dietary changes. I concluded that perhaps the mtn. dew was the culprit, since I almost never drink soda and really am not used to regular caffeine intake.
I didn't realize the full import of my situation, however, until after I went to the bathroom yesterday afternoon and returned, as they say, some 5 pounds lighter. I mean, this was massive. And it occured to me that this was the first time in several days, and that the tickling sensation had mostly vanished. A couple more trips later that day, and I was cured, by God.
I had been pregnant with poop.
posted by jessica rabbit at 6:44 AM
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