Cultural Revolution

No tale of China would be complete without at least mentioning the Cultural Revolution, which made it what it is today. I can write about this now, at home, but I felt that I couldn't or shouldn't when I was in China. When we spoke about the Revolution among ourselves in China, it was always with hesitancy on my part, and usually in a lowered voice.

The facts of the Revolution are these, but they don't begin to convey a sense of what actually happened: the revolution was initiated by Mao to take power from the Chinese Communist Party in the years 1966-1969 and lasted through 1976, ending with Mao's death. Events leading to the revolution began even earlier in the late 1950's with Mao's Great Leap Forward, which was intended to increase industrial (mainly steel)and agricultural production. The Great Leap Forward failed to increase agricultural production because the peasants were all engaged in steel production, and it led to economic disaster, severe food shortages, and famine in China during the early 1960's. In order to stem the damage from the Great Leap, Mao banded with Liu Shaoqui and Deng Xiaoping, who began reversing some of the economic policies established during the Great Leap (a move away from pure socialism). When they began to have too much success and power, Mao accused them of corruption and began the Social Education Movement, which turned into the Four Cleanups Movement to cleanse "politics, economics, ideas, and organization". In effect, he wanted to remove Liu and Deng from power and purge China of his political enemies, the "imperialists", and the intellectuals who supported their ideology.

The purging that followed was horrific. Universities were the first targets, and intellectuals suffered. Mao's "Red Guards" did the purging. Mass chaos ensued as Mao lost control of the country and the purging spread to include the destruction of religious people and institutions, ancient art and cultural relics, old buildings and books. Forced exile of people (mostly intellectuals and scientists) to the countryside and mass "reeducation" occurred. Deaths in the period between 1966 and 1969 are estimated from 500,000 to the low millions. You can read a more full account of the political struggles here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cultural_revolution.

Although it is rarely spoken of in China, reminders of the Cultural Revolution are everywhere: in the scarcity of paper, the encroaching desert, the pollution of the cities, the undrinkable water. The revolution is also in the restaurant with the headless Buddhas, the long line of people in Tiananmen Square waiting for a glimpse of Mao's body every morning, the people singing revolutionary hymns at the Temple of Heaven (eerily beautiful), and in the picture postcard of the Main Lecture Hall at Nankai University, from which tower people threw themselves rather than be tortured.

Most of all, it is in the people who bear its scars. One of the ladies at our retired professors luncheon had her head half-shaved and was paraded through the streets during that time; her husband was "sent to the countryside" and never returned. Her daughters never saw their father again. One of the staff in the Foreign Affairs Office had a father who threw himself from the tower of the Main Lecture Hall. The survivors are still alive. This is still fresh.

It is almost impossible to conceive of what happened in the Revolution - the scale of it, the recency of it, and how it possibly could have happened. How could such insanity grip a country that large? Perhaps it was more like a powerful wave of envy which swept through the cities. It is easy to understand the sort of envy which motivates people to steal beautiful things; it is harder to understand the sort of envy which causes people to destroy them.

The revolution was not so much a rising up as a pulling down. It was equality at the cost of magnificence: beauty, intelligence, and skill were sought out and destroyed to make way for the average and the mediocre. This ideology is summarized chillingly in the following quote: "If one stalk of wheat grows taller than the others, we must cut off its head."

China is a country of broken beauty, lost art, and buried treasure. It is unbearable to think of what was lost. You can see an ancient magnificence in the Great Wall and feel it in the Temple of Heaven. You can catch glimpses of what once was treasured in the antique markets which sell relics from the revolution. You can see what was lost in what's missing - in the dress of the retired lady professors who wear no jewelry and unnoticeable colors.

Japanese Toilet Technology

By the time we left China, I had soured on international travel so
much that I had privately promised myself that I wouldn't leave the US
again for a long, long time. Though I had been looking forward very
much to seeing Japan a few weeks ago, by this time it seemed like a
chore. I was exhausted, dirty, injured (by the squatty shower), and
spotted, and I wanted to go home.

Before I get to Japan, let me first state that in the entire four
weeks combined that I have spent in China, I have never once used a
squatty potty there. There are many reasons for this, including the
following:

1. If I wanted to have to squat every time I used the bathroom, I'd
rather use the woods - it's cleaner.

2. The squatty potties in China are filthy. The one time I ventured
into a Chinese traditional bathroom with the intentions of using it,
the smell was so bad that I could almost taste it. And this was at a
university.

3. There is generally no toilet paper. Students have to carry their
own, due to a scarcity of paper in China. Mao apparently chopped down
lots of trees (?)

4. When I said there was no toilet paper in the bathrooms, I meant
there was no CLEAN toilet paper. There's plenty of used toilet paper,
because Chinese plumbing is weak, and instead of flushing the paper,
you put it in a small wastbasket next to the "toilet". Hence, the
smell.

Anyway, you get the idea. I mention all this because when I got to
Japan, I was so dazzled by the cleanliness around me that I
immediately did the previously unthinkable: I used a squatty potty for
the very first time.

Japan has an odd mixture of squatty potties and western toilets, but
they all have one thing in common: they are clean. Now, perhaps it is
unfair to compare the plumbing of a developing country with a fully
developed one, but the comparisons were inevitable, given our
travelling schedule and the stark contrasts between the two countries.
Where Japan has western toilets, they are stunningly evolved wonders
of technology that leave US toilets far, far behind.

I'll get to this in a minute, though. We arrived in Japan, noted that
it was clean, were met at the airport by our host (a former TESOL OSU
student who is now teaching at Gunma Prefectory Women's University in
Takasaki), guided through a series of clean trains full of thin, fit,
orderly, quiet, polite, fashion-conscious people, and treated to
dinner at a nice Japanese restaurant. Not only was the food
delicious, but we had ICE WATER with the meal. This was an incredible
relief after being in a country with unpotable water for two weeks.

We tried to shop for clothes, briefly, since the stay in China had
left us with little clean laundry. The stores were full of
interesting clothing, but most only carried up to size "medium", which
is more like a US small.

We proceeded next to our hotel, where we were checked in efficiently
by clerks who spoke English and bowed politely and welcomingly to each
of us individually. The onsen-style baths, we were told, were closed
to us at present, since it was the "men's turn", so we were given sort
of rose tea bags to put in our own baths. (Onsen-style baths, by the
way, are naked public baths. In Takasaki, these were natural hot
springs, and they were segregated by sex. Since our hotel was a
business hotel, and supposedly most of its clientelle were male, the
baths were only open to women on certain hours on the weekends. This
I found unbelievably sexist, and they would never get away with doing
this in the states - although it is possibly something like giving men
the prime tee times at golf clubs - but we were somewhat relieved not
to have the option at the time. If the naked baths had been available
for our use, we would have naturally had to use them, and there may
have been subsequent awkwardness) We went happily up to our hotel
rooms (about which our hosts had only said that they were perhaps a
bit too small), and were delighted to find them sparkling clean.

Upon further investigation, we noticed that the bathtub was about
three or four times as deep as a traditional US bathtub, and the
toilet had an alarming number of buttons on it. I wish I could
reproduce the full set of instructions here (thoughtfully posted in
English on the wall), but let me summarize the features of the
STANDARD Japanese toilet. It has a HEATED seat, "front" and "back"
washes, which can be adjusted to different pressures, and options for
flushing at different water pressures (depending, of course, on how
much you need - this increases water efficiency without sacrificing
flushing power when you need it). Other public toilets I saw while in
Japan (and the western toilets, without exception, always had heated
seats) included a sink on the top of the toilet (so you could wash
your hands in the water that has to go into the toilet in order flush
it, rather than having it go to waste) and an odd button on the wall.

I had heard rumors prior to visiting Japan that Japanese toilets
included a "flush button" which gave you the sound of flushing without
the actual flush, to camouflage other noises that you might be making
in the bathroom. This button was apparently developed in the interest
of saving water - apparently people were flushing the toilets
repeatedly for the noise rather than for the flush, and this way you
get the desired effect without wasting the water. Anyway, having
heard this, I was eager to find one of these buttons, and I thought I
saw my chance at the women's university just prior to our presentation
on the use of simulations for language proficiency development. I
pressed the button, and nothing seemed to happen, so I pressed it
again. Twice. Nothing. I exited the stall and stood at the sink,
observing a rush of excited people into the bathroom (odd, since the
Japanese are generally orderly in their entrances and exits) and
gradually becoming aware of a high-pitched beeping noise that seemed
to grow in volume. I suspected at that point that it may have had
something to do with the button I had pushed, and realized that as the
only foreigner standing around in the bathroom, I probably looked
guilty. I exited the bathroom and resolved to bring up the matter at
dinner.

We had dinner at a Japanese Italian restaurant, which sounds
frightening, but it was really quite good. They make a nice,
thin-crust, almost gourmet pizza, and the pasta looked good, too.
Plus, with a nice tall glass of ice water at meals, how can you go
wrong? The faculty at the university in the foreign studies
department was taking us out on our last evening in Japan, and they
were a pleasure to talk to - all fluent English speaker, all had
studied abroad, and all the permanent staff had their PhDs.
Furthermore, I thought they could clarify some points of interest for
us - namely, the nature of the button in the bathroom.

I eased into the conversation by asking them what their most shocking
moments in the US had been. One of them, who had lived in LA,
recalled being surprised by the segregated neighborhoods of the large
cities - not what he had expected from a "melting pot". Another
recalled an incident in an NYC bathroom where a complete stranger had
reached under his stall for some toilet paper. This was particularly
alarming to him because in Japan, the stall walls and doors are very
tall with little space between the doors and the floor. Thus, in the
US, there is less privacy - and no bidets or heated toilet seats,
either. We can compare this observation with Chinese foreign exchange
students, who were most shocked by the finding that in the US, toilets
don't have to smell bad. They had previously taken the smell of
Chinese toilets for granted.

As we were exchanging toilet stories (during which I found out, among
other things, that the flush buttons do indeed exist, although they
are more common in women's restrooms, and that some toilets have
musical toilet paper dispensers - odd, when you consider the obsession
with toilet privacy), I brought up the subject of the button. It
appears that many public toilets have emergency buttons in them, like
the one I had pushed. Why the Japanese see fit to put emergency
buttons in their bathrooms, I have no idea. Elevators, yes. Toilets,
generally, no. What American would ever think to put an emergency
button in a public toilet?

That's the beauty of Japan. All your basic needs are provided for,
plus some that you didn't even know you had (upon arrival at the
Minneapolis airport later, I was shocked when I sat on an unheated
toilet seat - it had only taken me 2 and a half days to get used to
the heated ones). What's more, the customer service is unparallelled.
At some department stores, there is one person whose job it is to bow
and welcome every single customer who walks in. Compare this useless
job to the following useless Chinese job - there are people whom you
can pay to hold your place in line for visa applications, as waiting
in this line is always at least an overnight undertaking. It is
mind-blowing that there are people out there who make a living from
standing in line. Standing in line so that other people can get out
of China.

All the efficiency in Japan has its dark side, too, of course.
Shortly before we arrived, there was an incident where a train was one
minute late in departing from the station, and the driver killed
himself and eighty passengers while speeding to make up the time. One
minute late. ONE MINUTE. However, you have to admire his attitude.

From my brief visit, I have to conclude that the Japanese are a clean,
efficient, organized, hospitable people, well ahead of us Americans in
all four of these areas, and I'd like to go back and visit at length.

I do not plan to go back to China.**

**Note: the author was cranky when she wrote this particular post, and since she enjoyed herself enough the first time she was in China to go back again a second time, it is a safe bet that she may go back for thirds in the future. Also, for everyone who's been complaining that I went to China and wrote only about the toilets, please see my other 8 or 9 posts on the country in this blog. And, for the record, I recommend going to China precisely because it is so different from anything we have experienced in the US. Finally, I do not wish the description of the toilets to in any way be an inspiration for people to start throwing around racist terms for a people who have a long history of beautiful art and a truly fascinating culture.

The Great Wall

I attempted to send a couple of emails from my hotel in Japan, but did not quite succeed. Two things were going on at the time. Actually, three. First of all, I couldn't find my itinerary. Secondly, the keyboard at the hotel kept switching back and forth from Japanese to English. Thirdly, I had woken up with an urgent need for Kaopectate/Immodium/Pepto, which kept interrupting my efforts at communication. Fortunately, my rule #1 for international travel is to bring a lifetime supply of Kaopectate. I have never failed to need it.

I was rather worried about the intestinal distress, since we had two hour plus long train rides to Narita, the usual hassles with immigration to go through, as well as a ten hour plane flight, followed by a two hour one. It's not every morning that you wake up wondering if you should pack an extra pair of underwear and pants for the day. It was pretty bad. Thus, I left Japan in an extremely weakened state (much as I entered it). However, if you do ever find yourself urgently in need of plumbing, it might as well be in the country with the most advanced toilet technology in the entire world (if not also in several galaxies, and possibly the whole universe). Japanese toilets really are that good. If you measure the level of civilization of a country by the sophistication of its toilets, Japan is a world leader. I could go on and on about this, and I will later, but perhaps I should pick up in China, where I left off last time.

If you recall, we were leaving for Beijing on Saturday morning. Had spent the previous night on Halleck's couch (again), but still seemed to be breaking out in new bites (although not on the face, which was an improvement). Spots still large and unsightly. We rose at 5 am, in order to be ready for the 6 am bus which was supposed to be waiting to take us to the Great Wall, and then to our deluxe accomodations in Beijing. No such luck. We had been assured that we would have a much larger bus this time. However, when the bus arrived, it was the same one that had initially picked us up at the airport two weeks earlier. The one that was far too small - it contained seating room only, with no space for luggage (do Chinese people not travel with luggage??), so we had had to travel the two hours with all of it sitting on our laps. This time, after two weeks of shopping, we had accumulated more luggage, and also two additional people (who were going with us as friends and guides). The driver folded over one of the seats to show that there was (slight) room for luggage, but this left only 7 seats, instead of the 9 we needed. We were told repeatedly that there was no other bus.

After much gesturing and several telephone calls, it turned out that there was, indeed, another bus (which for some reason no one had wanted to bother with giving us), so we left at 7 am. Apparently, this is typical of the Chinese, and of Chinese "service". My instructor had lived for a year in China several years ago, and when someone asked her husband what Chinese he had learned in the course of their stay, he had learned the following: "don't have", "it's broken", and "wait". That pretty much sums it up.

Anyway, we finally left, I turned up my mp3 player, and drifted off to Dido. When I woke up, we were driving through mountains covered with trees. These are not the rounded, full-bodied mountains of Pennsylvania, for example, but closer to the jagged, sharp mountains of Costa Rica. If I were any kind of good geologist, I would be able to tell you why this is. In any case, they were beautiful. We began also to catch glimpses of an impossibly steep, winding wall which kept disappearing into the mountains, covered with people moving along it. If you go to China for nothing else, this is worth seeing. It's not so much that the Great Wall is great because it's massive, but because it is mind-bogglingly long, and impossibly steep, and winding.

When we got to the section of the wall which we had come to see, it began to rain. Hard. People crowded against our bus, trying to sell umbrellas. The wonderful thing about China is that if it started to downpour at Six Flags, for example, a single umbrella would go for well over $10, probably more like $20. Actually, you probably would have to buy an ineffective, cheap plastic poncho for something like $8. These umbrellas were oversized, fairly well-made, and selling for 10 quai, which is about a dollar and twenty cents. And that was BEFORE bargaining.

Shops lined the road to the Wall, with cashmere scarves and pashminas selling for about the same price as the umbrellas. I got two very touristy sweatshirts (for Faith and Laura) saying "I Climbed the Great Wall" for about $5 each. Another of us got hers for slightly over $3. Money is almost meaningless here. You find yourself bargaining in an impassioned manner to get the price of something down from 60 to 40 quai, but then you realize that you're talking about the difference between, respectively, about $7.50 and $5 -- for something that would be worth three or four times as much in the US.

The Wall looked just as it does in photographs and postcards, and we were at the most famous section, in Badaling. It was breathtakingly steep - virtually inaccessible to the elderly, and the safety rail was evidently a recent addition. There were signs saying things like: "no spitting on cultural relic" which still didn't quite ruin the mood. I wondered briefly if anyone is ever tempted to pee off the Wall, and later met someone in Japan who had indeed observed a Chinese tourist relieving himself in a leisurely, shameless fashion, off the Wall.

We left the Wall and proceeded to our luxury hotel, which turned out to be not as deluxe as we were lead to believe. That is, it was Western, and it had Western toilets, and it was clean, but the service was still Chinese service. That is to say, even though breakfast was supposed to come with our rooms, it wasn't served until 7, and we were taking the airport shuttle at 6 am. Furthermore, we found out that we had to pay for the shuttle, and that room service wasn't actually twenty-four hour service. Although our rooms technically had internet access as advertised, you needed to have brought your own computer along in order to take advantage of this feature. Our complimentary cocktails, as we were told at 9 pm, were only good for happy hour, which lasted from 5-7 pm.

So, in a defeated sort of way, some of us went to bed, while others of us bought twenty-dollar massages (another plus to China - cheap massages) and straggled into the hotel restaurant downstairs (still with spotted forehead). We ordered from the menu, and I noticed that the waiter wasn't actually writing anything down. Even when they write it down, half the time you don't get everything you ordered. I predicted that each of us would either have to reorder something or send something back, which is precisely what happened. We had three different waiters (as is often the case here), and still got terrible service. I can't figure out the system, but it absolutely does not work. And there was no excuse, since there were only two other tables with customers in the entire place. I won't go into the particulars of the bad service, since it would take far more time to write about than it's worth and would probably only confuse you.

Tomorrow I will write about Japan.

Spot Watch Day #3 and Headless Buddhas

Thoroughly depressed. Filthy, as usual. Incredibly smoggy today. Lungs feel blackened. Humid, also. INCESSANT honking of horns. Hot, oppressive, and smoky in internet cafe. Will spend my third night in a row on Halleck's couch this evening. Mosquitos plague me. The hotel room walls are plastered in ancient mosquito carcasses, probably left by disgruntled travellers during the seventies.

Spots on face remained swollen for the entire third day, so picked at them tentatively this evening to see what would happen. Immediately reddened and swelled up further, which I didn't think was possible. Have covered face in "crema antiallergica" left over from itchy Costa Rica experience (why is travelling always so itchy??) and have given up all attempts to look respectable in public.

Going to Pizza Hut tonight, since everyone else is craving pizza. Why pizza? Even the western food here is depressing. KFC, McDonalds, Pizza Hut, and Fridays - none of which I would ever go to at home (except maybe to McDs for the occasional McGriddle).

On the bright side, classes ended today, and they seemed to go well. Students are very fun. Also bought more fossils for Matt :-) And other assorted things for Mom.

When asked to book reasonable hotel rooms near airport in Beijing, classmates went out of their heads with joy at the thought of escaping current accomodations and bought $170 a night deluxe rooms at the Holiday Inn which come with complimentary breakfasts and one complimentary cocktail per person. Can't say that I blame them.

Food at the "eatable musem" (according to their brochure) was very, very good last night, but due to Chinese practice of drinking only hot liquids with all meals (hot tea, hot water, hot milk...), was unbearably thirsty. Would kill for a tall glass of ice water. How do people live without cold drinks at mealtimes? Barbaric. The restaurant/museum was full of thousand year old Buddha statues, many of which were headless (a consequence of the cultural revolution). It also featured rows of severed Buddha heads, many of which were noseless (another popular pasttime during the cultural revolution seems to have been chopping the noses off of thousand year old pieces of art). You'd think all of this would be behind glass, but no - you could touch whatever you liked. We were strictly forbidden from taking pictures (since it would damage the statues?); however, smoking proceeded as usual. (Note: I've noticed in several places signs that say "no burning". No burning what? Do Chinese go around starting fires? It's different from the no smoking signs.) We ignored the no camera rule and took turns taking pictures of each other standing behind a headless Buddha and placing our heads on top of it. We were much amused by this.

I am informed by an Asian source that: "people in Asia either squat in the showers or get a large wash basin and use the shower head to pour the water into it and use a bowl with the water from the basin to rinse soap and stuff off the body.

Or, get a two liter coke bottle and fill that with clean water and use that to rinse off (You can unhook the shower head from the hose). It works nicely and you don't have to squat and maneuver so much.

Extra advice: if you use a squatty potty, roll your pants up (pretty high) before you go in, this helps for a number of reasons that I will not tell you."

Thought you should know. As I said to her, though, why bother to have a shower if you also need a basin?

Update on strange spots and a shower-related injury

I am at the internet cafe at the moment (obviously), and I think it
worth mentioning that nearly every time I've been here, I've been
seated next to a Chinese person who has been enthusiastically gaming
and chain smoking the entire time. The one I'm next to today has
produced some nice spit for the floor along with all the ash and
cigarette butts. Why is this acceptable?? I've seen several Chinese
biking across multiple lanes of madly honking oncoming traffic
(despite all the "no honking" signs), calmly puffing away on their
cigarettes.

I have also an update on the strange spots. As I stated before, they
are not zits. They are large, red, itchy welts that I now recognize
as mosquito bites. My new theory is that the three or four days of
rain allowed them to multiply. Why they thought my forehead was
tasty, I have no idea. Now, you may be thinking that I'm making a big
deal over some minor discomfort and indignity, but who knows what
horrible diseases these mosquitos may be carrying? After all, they
have plenty of rotting trash (I know, because there are three
stinking, overflowing trash cans next to the "Foreing Experts Hotel"
that we have to walk by every day) and human waste to feed on. That
is why two of us fled our mosquito-infested rooms and spent the night
on Dr. Halleck's couches.

In addition to the forehead injuries, I got a shower-related injury
this morning. For no discernible reason, the showers here are made
for 3-foot tall people. Also, there is no water pressure to speak of.
Even though the shower head is detachable, this makes showering very
awkward, and I've been experimenting with different ways to lather up
my hair with both hands while still getting a little water to drip
over me. I have resorted to squatting in the shower. There is no
reason why anyone should have to squat in the shower, and there is no
excuse for having showers like this - the Chinese are simply not that
short anymore. Anyway, as I stood up after having lathered up and
rinsed, my hindquarters caught on the faucet, and I now have an open
wound which will be difficult to keep clean.

Fortunately, we leave for Beijing on Saturday, but our university has
thoughtfully arranged for us to stay overnight at another university
in Beijing. Now, this is a problem because the lodging arrangements
are for 80 quai rooms with community bathrooms. To give you some idea
of how bad this will probably be, the rooms we're staying in now go
for about 200 quai. Plus, there is no guarantee that the community
bathrooms will have western toilets. A hovel with a community squatty
potty is NOT my idea of acceptable accomodation. We must find a way
to gracefully back out of these reservations and book a Holiday Inn at
the airport or something. I had to leave my bathroom this morning
because the smell of sewage first thing in the morning on an empty
stomach is not a good thing.

Going to Fridays after this to return umbrellas (and have some honey
mustard sauce); then, maybe the antique market, and dinner at a museum
with a very large collection of ancient Buddha statues.

Note: on the English tv channel last night was an hour-long program entitled: Indian chessboard makers face tough times.

Strange spots on forehead, robbed at Summer Palace

It has stopped raining, but three of us have broken out in strange
spots on our faces, mostly on our foreheads. We're not sure why.
They're not zits. They may be bug bites, but they don't itch...yet.
However, they're beginning to swell. Our first theory is that perhaps
they may be from bugs that only come out in the day, since all three
of us took long afternoon naps yesterday. Does such a bug exist? Our
second theory is that it's a disease. Our third theory is that it's
an allergy. We've been eating lots of weird food lately. Our fourth
theory is that it may be due to general filth and poor hygiene. We
don't think our beds have been changed in the entire time we've been
here, and maybe not even before then. Anyway, it's both unsightly and
annoying. If we don't get better by the time we get back, perhaps no
one will want us back. We are concerned.

Today we went to luncheon again with the elderly retired professor
ladies. It was a smashing success. They taught us many useful
Chinese phrases. However, we also had pork, Chairman Mao style.
Chairman Mao style apparently means "with as much fat as possible".
Vile. The rest of the food was good, more or less, although I'm not
terribly fond of the jellyfish with cilantro and bean curd with eight
treasures dishes.

We're designing a questionnaire for our students, and then going to
the antique market and Starbucks. Also, apparently the Wal-Mart here
is sparklingly clean and has stunning service. Some people went there
yesterday and had a free tea ceremony (Chinese tea ceremony is
different from the Japanese tea ceremony - it involves three teapots
and two sets of tinytiny teacups. It's very involved.) and samples
of lots of green tea products.

The trial simulation today did not go well. The Japanese athlete is
thinking about firing her attorneys and representing herself.

Note: Apparently, grass is rare here. Although almost nothing else
has been translated into English for our convenience, the Chinese
appear to not want to have large foreigners trampling all over the
university lawns. Therefore, they have placed little signs that say
things like "Please show the feeling of love to the green land" and
"This grass is living please cherish."

The countdown has begun. Only two more nights in the spot-infested
hotel before we leave for Beijing. I hear Japan is more into
cleanliness.

Additional note: I almost forgot to post about our experience at the Summer Palace in Beijing. We were robbed. That is, we weren't mugged, but merely outwitted. There was a box of nicely carved wooden chopsticks that one of us liked, and tried to pay for with a 100 quai note. The vendor said that the note was torn, and gave it back. Later that day, when we tried to pay for a large meal at a restaurant (this was the meal with the chicken knuckles), we were told that the bill was counterfeit. I guess the vendor had exchanged the real one for the fake one. Moral of the story: don't use large bills (fifties and hundreds) to pay for things on the street. However, to put this theft in perspective, 100 quai is only worth about 12 dollars.

Why we don't eat fruit in China and update on the uses of deer penis

Today has been a great success thus far. Fridays gave us 2 umbrellas yesterday, maybe for being regular customers, which came in handy again today, as it's been raining constantly for the last three days. We were told that it never rains here, so we hadn't brought any rain equipment. Also, we were confused about the umbrellas for the following reasons: the umbrellas weren't Fridays umbrellas, and even though there were three of us, we were given two umbrellas, non-matching, and slightly broken. In addition, we had previously sent back a drink for having too much sour mix. Perhaps they were trying to please us to make up for the drink?

We're still trying to train their waitstaff. Today, we got excellent service, the best that we've had so far in China. For example, we each got our own menu (not sure why they're usually so cheap with menus here), the waitstaff didn't hover over our shoulders waiting for us to order before we were ready, we got all the condiments we requested, the waiter helped pour our ketchup for us, and when we dropped a fork on the floor, he replaced it for us without having to be asked. In fact, he lept to our aid. We think this may have something to do with the fact that we left two quai as a tip yesterday for slightly improved service. Today we left 15, since it was so stellar. I know you don't usually tip in China, but the "service" is always so bad that they don't deserve one anyway.

Our simulation was also a great success this morning. My class, in particular, was wonderful. They were putting on a trial which had to do with an athlete in the Beijing Olympics who had been accused of drug use. (Since the winning athlete was Japanese, they had further reason to find her guilty). Anyway, they brought suit jackets as props for the courtroom, and the Beijing Disciplinary Committee even had a Snoopy gavel which they used to keep order. Very nice touch. I'm not sure they entirely get the judicial process, but they were very enthusiastic participants.

We also asked them about the deer penis. Apparently, you grind it into a powder, add it to liquor, and drink. It's supposed to be a performance enhancer. A rare, expensive one. Rare enough to be displayed in a carved box with a nice ribbon tied around it.

Which reminds me of another item we found in the gift shop labelled "Silicon Teat, with Camera". It was a baby bottle. We're not sure what the "camera" is. Perhaps a material used to make it? It had a copyright symbol after it...

We went to a Japanese restaurant yesterday, and we were served these gorgeous fruit plates for dessert - watermelon, Faith - and we finally broke down and ate the fruit (except for me - I was the designated non-fruit-eater, in case everyone else got sick). Unfortunately, I made the mistake of asking at the dinner table why we don't eat the fruit in China. Apparently, there's a very, very good reason - human fertilizers are often used, and with sanitation and hygiene in China being the way they are (mostly nonexistent, as illustrated by split pants), we don't trust that the fruit has been properly washed before cutting. If not, the knife can transfer the bacteria from the surface to the middle of the fruit.

Aside from the usual miscommunications and inconveniences, nothing further to report for the day so far.

China

China is an odd place. Just
when you get completely annoyed with it, something really nice
happens. And just when things are beginning to make sense and seem
civilized, something so barbaric, so gruesome,
so...incongruent...happens, for no apparent reason at all.

For an example of this, let's take the hotel gift shop at the Sheraton
in Tianjin. Whilst looking around at tea and imported chocolates and
poking around for amusing items and interesting English translations
(for example: condoms named 'Long Gloves" and illustrated with
pictures of large-breasted blonde women), we happened upon a nicely
carved wooden box in a corner. Upon closer examination, it was found
to be tastefully displaying a deer penis, balls, fur and all. What
would a hotel gift shop be doing with deer penis? Why was it in an
ornate box? What would one do with such an item? Would one eat it?
Put it on the coffee table? A bookcase??

Speaking of disgusting, we had a nice university banquet on Friday in
our honor, complete with a tasty appetizer of chicken feet. And on
Thursday, we had a gentile luncheon with some older retired university
lady chemistry, biophysics, and russian professors that featured meat
jello. Meat should NEVER be in jello form, if you ask me. In Beijing
this weekend, we had what I now call "chicken knuckles in red sauce".
That is, apparently someone else had been served the chicken, and they
had carefully prepared the gristle for us. How do you eat such a
dish?

In plumbing news, just after we arrived in Beijing this weekend, the
poor girl we left behind in our hotel tried to take a shower and
noticed that raw sewage was leaking from the ceiling. The bathrooms
always stink of sewer, but I thought that was a bit much. We also
observed split pants usage on the subway. Not on the platform, but IN
THE SUBWAY CAR. The mother was assisting the child in squatting by
the row of seats nearest us, while the rest of the family looked
fondly on. No one batted an eye (note: for those unfamiliar with this
particular custom, children of a certain age in China wear split
pants, so that they may conveniently use whatever flat surface happens
to be conveniently at hand as a toilet. On our last visit to China,
this included the floor of a department store, between the cosmetics
counters and the food court).

In nudity news, we have observed several bare children's bottoms in
split pants, one man's penis (he was taking a leisurely piss on one of
the university pathways), on deer penis (unattached), and several
naked, elderly, towl-less, spread-eagled, shameless Chinese women
cavorting about and GIGGLING in the sauna of the spa at the same
Sheraton that I mentioned earlier.

We went to the spa because we had absolutely had it and were ready to
leave China right this minute, but, of course, couldn't. The spa
itself was lovely, apart from a fly which developed a liking for me,
and I was actually served tea with sugar in it. I don't know why
Chinese object to having sugar in their tea...

Anyway, back to Beijing, Faith and Laura, it's too bad we didn't get
to go to the Temple of Heaven last time we were there, because it's
really lovely - relaxing, cool, lots of good-smelling trees - juniper
and cypress, retired elderly Chinese playing traditional instruments
and singing revolutionary hymns, and roses. We went to the Temple of
Heaven, the Forbidden City, and the Summer Palace, all in one weekend.

Also, apparently all the good food in China comes from the southern
parts, and there were lots of restaurants in Beijing that served
southern food. Very good (however, I'm still not eating any asian
food for at least a few months when I get home). And there was a
fantastic market where everything looked like it was from a museum
(lots of stuff from the cultural revolution, I guess), and in another
part of the market, there were these tables full of sparkly flats.
Drunk with bargaining, I bought 4 pairs of shoes. I shouldn't have,
because I wore one pair to class this morning, and they were so
sparkly that I kept getting distracted by them, and I'd realize that I
was sitting there, moving my feet around to catch the light, and
staring at them.

Two of us have strange eyelid swellings.

Dr. Halleck had bought a brush in Beijing this weekend (since we
weren't expecting to stay the night, and hadn't brought any toiletries
- including deodorant - with us. Note: deodorant is nearly impossible
to find in China. Apparently, the Chinese don't use it, because they
have no body odor. We couldn't explain to our Chinese friends that we
needed deodorant very badly, because Dr. Halleck thought the whole
thing was very embarrassing, so we tried to freshen our armpits with
soap and kleenex whenever possible throughout the day). Anyway, she
arrived at Emily's room (one of my substitute travelling companions)
this morning with the brush sticking out of her head, and we had to
extricate it. She threw the brush in the trash, since she never
wanted to see it again, but the maid had thoughtfully taken it out of
the trash and placed it back on the dresser by the time we came back
from morning classes. Maid service is difficult to figure out here.
I haven't had new towels in the entire time I've been here, and the
bed is made perhaps every third day. Fortunately, they keep me
supplied with toilet paper (the rolls are very, very small, and I run
out at least every other day). Dr. Halleck hasn't had new sheets yet,
but she has gotten several pairs of slippers.

Anyway, much more to tell, but I'm running out of time. I'll try to
make it here again soon.

First email from China

Finally, finally found an internet cafe off campus. Sorry haven't
been able to write sooner. No one bothered to give us any maps.
Actually, two of us got separated from the rest of the group, and are
not sure where they are right now. Fortunately, though, we know where
we are. Very, very, very jet-lagged (not pills - I only took two on
the entire series of flights over here - you should be happy - and the
plane to St. Paul was a little plan. Lots of turbulence on the way
over, but too tired to care). Exhausted. Laura, I'm glad you taught
us those few words last time. I've remembered most of them, and I've
been haggling successfully. I speak more Chinese than anyone in the
group.

Food is still awful. Worse than I remembered. Breakfast is spiced
vegetables and hard-boiled eggs with weird brown yolks. Have found a
fast-food dumpling place and my favorite pseudo pringles flavored like
tomato soup. There's pretty much nothing else in this entire country
that looks appetizing, so we're skipping dinner.

Housing, however, is fabulous. Western toilets, toilet paper, a tv
with one English channel, a small refrigerator that I haven't figured
out how to turn on yet, and two twin beds in a small room completely
my own. Hot water in the shower, although low pressure.

Matt, we've been to the older market twice already, and there are the
most gorgeous rocks and fossils for totally, totally cheap. It's like
the samples from our paleo class all spread out on a couple of tables.
Whole trilobites. Those little spiro thingies. Fish in shale. The
coolest fossils are no more than $25 dollars, and that's before
haggling. Will look into the geology in this area a bit more. Wish
you were here.

Classes are going fine. Nice students, but very tired.

Phone card situation looks very involved. Probably will come back to
this cafe mostly, since it is only 25 cents an hour.

Sun Poisoning and Intestinal Distress

Last week was dead week, and last night I had my last final exam of the semester. Celebrated with mediocre Italian food from the Spaghetti Warehouse and large pitchers of peach and raspberry sangria. Sangria was excellent. Also discovered this champagne/peach schnapps/mango puree cocktail called a tango mango bellini. Despite the fruity name, quite good. I love champagne cocktails. In fact, I like to drink champagne whenever possible, because it can turn any day into a celebration. ::hic::

Last weekend, Matt and I went to the AVP tournament in Austin (professional volleyball), had some Mexican food at a place in North Central Austin with margaritas so fantastic that you're only allowed to have three, went to an arts and music festival on Pecan St. (6th street), and, of course, saw Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I was ashamed to have forgotten to bring my towel with me to the showing.

Sadly, I'm still suffering the repercussions of the weekend's excesses - which do not include excess alcohol consumption, I'd like to add, despite the notable focus on alcohol so far in this post. Rather, I lost probably 5 pounds on Monday from...intestinal distress...that I can only assume was caused by the fantastic salsa at the aforementioned Mexican place. In addition, my forehead and lower lip began to swell slowly but noticeably on Monday, reaching peak size in the evening. Still deflating. I had horrible dizziness and almost passed out several times, so retired sensibly to bed after my final instead of participating in the post-exam celebration at McNellie's, an Irish pub on 1st St. in Tulsa.

Have plans to stay in bed with leisure reading material most of today and tomorrow before Cinco de Mayo celebration Thursday evening and departure for Asia on Friday. Will probably lose lots of weight in Asia due to complete lack of dairy there. Very excited about going to Japan, and plan to take lots of pictures there of strange Japanese fashion victims as seen in America's Next Top Model.