China

China is an odd place. Just
when you get completely annoyed with it, something really nice
happens. And just when things are beginning to make sense and seem
civilized, something so barbaric, so gruesome,
so...incongruent...happens, for no apparent reason at all.

For an example of this, let's take the hotel gift shop at the Sheraton
in Tianjin. Whilst looking around at tea and imported chocolates and
poking around for amusing items and interesting English translations
(for example: condoms named 'Long Gloves" and illustrated with
pictures of large-breasted blonde women), we happened upon a nicely
carved wooden box in a corner. Upon closer examination, it was found
to be tastefully displaying a deer penis, balls, fur and all. What
would a hotel gift shop be doing with deer penis? Why was it in an
ornate box? What would one do with such an item? Would one eat it?
Put it on the coffee table? A bookcase??

Speaking of disgusting, we had a nice university banquet on Friday in
our honor, complete with a tasty appetizer of chicken feet. And on
Thursday, we had a gentile luncheon with some older retired university
lady chemistry, biophysics, and russian professors that featured meat
jello. Meat should NEVER be in jello form, if you ask me. In Beijing
this weekend, we had what I now call "chicken knuckles in red sauce".
That is, apparently someone else had been served the chicken, and they
had carefully prepared the gristle for us. How do you eat such a
dish?

In plumbing news, just after we arrived in Beijing this weekend, the
poor girl we left behind in our hotel tried to take a shower and
noticed that raw sewage was leaking from the ceiling. The bathrooms
always stink of sewer, but I thought that was a bit much. We also
observed split pants usage on the subway. Not on the platform, but IN
THE SUBWAY CAR. The mother was assisting the child in squatting by
the row of seats nearest us, while the rest of the family looked
fondly on. No one batted an eye (note: for those unfamiliar with this
particular custom, children of a certain age in China wear split
pants, so that they may conveniently use whatever flat surface happens
to be conveniently at hand as a toilet. On our last visit to China,
this included the floor of a department store, between the cosmetics
counters and the food court).

In nudity news, we have observed several bare children's bottoms in
split pants, one man's penis (he was taking a leisurely piss on one of
the university pathways), on deer penis (unattached), and several
naked, elderly, towl-less, spread-eagled, shameless Chinese women
cavorting about and GIGGLING in the sauna of the spa at the same
Sheraton that I mentioned earlier.

We went to the spa because we had absolutely had it and were ready to
leave China right this minute, but, of course, couldn't. The spa
itself was lovely, apart from a fly which developed a liking for me,
and I was actually served tea with sugar in it. I don't know why
Chinese object to having sugar in their tea...

Anyway, back to Beijing, Faith and Laura, it's too bad we didn't get
to go to the Temple of Heaven last time we were there, because it's
really lovely - relaxing, cool, lots of good-smelling trees - juniper
and cypress, retired elderly Chinese playing traditional instruments
and singing revolutionary hymns, and roses. We went to the Temple of
Heaven, the Forbidden City, and the Summer Palace, all in one weekend.

Also, apparently all the good food in China comes from the southern
parts, and there were lots of restaurants in Beijing that served
southern food. Very good (however, I'm still not eating any asian
food for at least a few months when I get home). And there was a
fantastic market where everything looked like it was from a museum
(lots of stuff from the cultural revolution, I guess), and in another
part of the market, there were these tables full of sparkly flats.
Drunk with bargaining, I bought 4 pairs of shoes. I shouldn't have,
because I wore one pair to class this morning, and they were so
sparkly that I kept getting distracted by them, and I'd realize that I
was sitting there, moving my feet around to catch the light, and
staring at them.

Two of us have strange eyelid swellings.

Dr. Halleck had bought a brush in Beijing this weekend (since we
weren't expecting to stay the night, and hadn't brought any toiletries
- including deodorant - with us. Note: deodorant is nearly impossible
to find in China. Apparently, the Chinese don't use it, because they
have no body odor. We couldn't explain to our Chinese friends that we
needed deodorant very badly, because Dr. Halleck thought the whole
thing was very embarrassing, so we tried to freshen our armpits with
soap and kleenex whenever possible throughout the day). Anyway, she
arrived at Emily's room (one of my substitute travelling companions)
this morning with the brush sticking out of her head, and we had to
extricate it. She threw the brush in the trash, since she never
wanted to see it again, but the maid had thoughtfully taken it out of
the trash and placed it back on the dresser by the time we came back
from morning classes. Maid service is difficult to figure out here.
I haven't had new towels in the entire time I've been here, and the
bed is made perhaps every third day. Fortunately, they keep me
supplied with toilet paper (the rolls are very, very small, and I run
out at least every other day). Dr. Halleck hasn't had new sheets yet,
but she has gotten several pairs of slippers.

Anyway, much more to tell, but I'm running out of time. I'll try to
make it here again soon.